The ultimate object of fantasy is the gaze itself. And I think that this goes not only for politics but also for sex. Here one should always ask the basic question as to how pornography is possible. The controversial answer of psychoanalysis is that it is possible because sex as sex is always already pornographic. It is pornographic in the sense that even when I am with my lover or lovers – let me stress the plural so as not to be accused of a binary logic – I always imagine a third gaze; that I am doing it for someone. One might say that there exists a fundamental structure of shame. When you are engaged in sexual activity there is always a fascination/horror as to how this would look in the Other’s eyes. Even with our most intimate acts, we always act for a potential virtual gaze. So this structure surrounding the idea that somebody is observing me is already inscribed into sexuality as such. Fantasy concerns not so much the idea of observing Others having sex but, rather, the opposite. The most elementary structure of fantasy is that when I have sex I fantasize that somebody is observing me.
Conversations with Žižek, Slavoj Žižek and Glyn Daly